2 Rings

I guess this is an extended comment on J's blog. I've learned a lot about being married over the last 26 years.

First, it doesn't feel like 26 years, because in so many ways we are still getting to know each other and figuring out how to take care of each other.

Second, it really helps to marry someone whom you value as a friend. I remember sitting at a stoplight in Jim's Mazda RX7 close to 30 years ago thinking that if I wasn't marrying him, I'd want him to be my friend. I know that sounds strange, but it was just a random thought that I remember. Since I realized this at the young age of 19 or 20, you would think that I would have figured out the friendship connection much earlier. It is totally expected that we should do nice things to show our friends that they are important to us. Shouldn't we look for little ways to show our spouse how much they mean to us. I don't want to look back over the next 26 years and wish that I had shown Jim every day that he is my life.

Third, the essence of loving someone is showing them respect. Somehow, because we are married, we equate the closeness that we share with our right to be our most selfish selves with each other. We expect our spouses to read our minds and inherently know exactly what we need from them at any given moment. We are utterly offended when they have a bad day instead of forgiving and ministering to the one we love. Just because we can say anything to our spouse, doesn't mean that we should say anything that comes to mind. The best words to say are the unkind ones unspoken.

Well, that reflects a bit on the 2 rings. When we traveled to my grandparents house, we slept in the living room of their tiny apartment. I woke in the morning and I could hear them talking in their bedroom. I couldn't make out a word, but every so often I could hear them quietly laughing. My grandmother passed away the next spring within hours of being baptized in the hospital by my father......